20 somethings

Just another day, she was driving to work, swaying her head to the music from her car stereo. She had a busy day ahead, meetings scheduled all day. Prospective clients, in-house staff meetings. Everything needed her attention. She was what they called the glue, that held the place together. She had no time to stop, breathe. But, what held her together? What kept her going?

I have secretly dreaded turning into Cameron Diaz from the movie The Holiday. But on most work days I feel like her.Barring any physical resemblance, we both presumably work round the clock, answer calls during dinner with friends, slyly text through dates, and are almost always thinking about the next big idea wherever we go...whoever we meet.. whatever we do.

A dear friend told me last night that he would trade lives with me in a jiffy. He would love to live out of suitcases, travel, be in a constant state of flux, physically and mentally. And I thought to myself why would anyone want this kind of life?

I come home with souvenirs, postcards, a bag full of experiences after every trip but then there are moments when I feel empty. I am grateful, blessed and brimming to the tip of my head with excitement at the gift of life. But, on some days I have wondered if I will ever end up having to spend Christmas alone in a strangers home like Diaz does in the movie. And, then I remember that I can be alone but never lonely. Not if I choose not to.

I was rummaging through my cupboard over the weekend and found a notebook with my favourite quotes, lines from movies, books, advertisements. And, more importantly a list of 20 something's I wrote to myself at airports/train stations/waiting for a cab/hotel breakfast’s.

1. Life is an climb, fierce, terrifying and beautiful. If you don’t climb, you don’t get the view.

2. Don’t jump off a cliff without a parachute, that is suicide. Always remember to prepare for a soft landing.

3. Be a blessing, be a shoulder to cry on, be a smile, a random hug, a surprise flower delivery, a quiet prayer, a box of cupcakes. Be the sunshine to someone’s cloud.

4. Resolutions are not once a year type of thing, make one everyday. (Lately, I have been waking up wanting/resolving to be happy everyday. To make people happy. It makes a huge difference. Resolve to be awesome everyday.)

5. Nachos will always be your comfort food, stop denying yourself simple pleasures.

6. Don’t be the kind of girl/person that is stupid and shallow. If you are smart, intelligent and have an opinion and people find you intimidating. Well, then to hell with them.

7. Confidence is sexy. It is a light that makes you appealing.

8. You are going to spend hours wanting to be someone else. But, that is never going to happen. If you don’t like something about yourself, then get up and change that.

9. Letting God/Universe work its way into your life often means you will not know what the next step is but remember the ride is worth is.

10. The ‘Good guy’ is not a myth. He exists, not in the- opening doors, telling you repeatedly you are beautiful and never calling you fat-kind of way. In the-will notice the colour of your eyes before your legs, talk to you about your long day and respect your space-kind of way.

11. The world does not revolve around you so the next time a friend asks you-How are you? reply with a-Great. How are you? And, maybe they will open up/share and vent about something that needs more attention than your dilemma over what colour to paint your nails this afternoon.

12. If you want to start something, a business, a new project, a dream. Don’t wait. Research about it endlessly. Meet, listen, read inspiring stories. Research your dream and start. If you want to be taken seriously then take yourself seriously.

13. Do not underestimate the power of positivity. If you meet a positive soul, cling to them for dear life. Let them fill your mind, your heart and soul with their light.

14. Don’t force someone to love you, force them to love themselves. They will find their way home to you once they do that.

15. Believe in rewriting endings. If you face a wall, an obstacle. Remember to tell yourself this is not the end. It ends when you stop believing.

16. Dance when the music is right. Forget what the world thinks. If you feel the groove in a shopping mall, halfway through a movie, a seated concert. You owe yourself a good jiggle.

17. If you can make someone smile, happy, laugh, forget their worry even for a second. Make it happen for them. It will make you happy inside, in the core of your blood and bones. A tingly feeling will sweep over you when you see you did someone a little good. Doing good, spreading love is so infectious. It spreads like wildfire.

18. Forgive. Yourself and others.

19. Make one random friend a year. Hone the relationship, watch it grow, fade, stumble or end. But do it anyway.  

20. Say this to someone who needs it. I don’t care who you really are, where you have been, what your deal is but I know you have scars. I can tell because I have a few of mine too. But, I want you to know that your scars make you beautiful. I am sorry people misread and judged you. If you let me in, I promise to be imperfectly perfect. I promise to turn up everyday. I promise to be there. To be. Always.