In Journalism school they stress on always using the active verb over the passive. As if to always stress on doing rather than to do. Something more purposeful in those words—walking, morphing, engaging, creating…I was telling someone today that I feel like I am changing. Like the old pieces of me are dry and crumbling down and making way for new pieces and perspectives. You are the sum total of all your experiences and as I get defined and redefined so are you.
I know we have all heard change is a good thing but I can admit this unabashedly I dread it. I am so happy in the warm comfort of all things familiar like old friends, books and my favourite quilt. But, change will come knocking, no matter how much you try to avoid. Sometimes, you are just where you were but those around you change and then that catapults you into change.
Now this is where you should know that it is OKAY. It is okay to want something different than what you set yourself out to want. It’s okay to fall out of love. It’s okay to find a friend different and not on your wave length as you are changing and evolving. It’s okay if your dreams are different from your husband/wife. It’s okay if your parents beliefs and ideals are not your own.
Now the scary part of change is not knowing what awaits you when you open that door. But change it demands to come in, it needs your whole body not just bits of you. Change will always come sweeping in and ripping into your life. It will want to rearrange your life like IKEA would want to your dull living room. It really is okay. Don’t be afraid if you are changing. If you are not in love any longer. If you are not passionate about someone or something. The whole thing about life is the journey and the equation of your life involves variables that come and go. Parts of this equation have to change so that new results can be met.
Just have dreams that are bigger than your tiny feet and stay on course those dreams. Once you do that learn to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ whenever required. I am still struggling with this one. When you feel like staying, stay. When you want to run, runaway. Maybe this time leave a note.
You need to let go of all the lies the world feeds you and the biggest lie that it tells you is that you cannot become someone different if you want to be. You can and you will. I promise you that.
Accept that things will never feel or seem the same. That’s just life. You grow out of one another. Friends say goodbyes. You shut doors. Someone opens a new one. You shut it again, scared and confused. The good never lasts but so does the bad. Sometimes goodbyes bring miracles with all the heartbreak. Sometimes you need to find your life falling apart to find yourself.
Yes, it would seem nicer if you could see the change before it rushed you into newness. But then again, there is a reason why it does not work that way.
There’s got to be a reason why I have to become someone new but I can’t know everything about that new girl just yet. I can’t know about my new life and the person I am to become right away. It’s the process. The unknown in this process is what gets you in the end. It’s what makes your story worth telling. The surprise package that awaits you. So, maybe we should check it out? How about we open that door now?
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