She remembered reading somewhere that the farthest distance in the world is the distance between two people when one is walking away in the opposite direction. And in that moment she knew this to be true.That evening as she watched a pair of converse shoes walk away from her into the abysmal crowd of suitcases, trolleys and departure announcements, she thought her life was over. She feared that she would never feel the same way again. She liked who she was when she was around him. She forgot that she was just being herself. Finally, free.
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Fear. It is the one emotion that is as overpowering as love. It is also the one emotion that can be overcome by hope. I remember sitting down with a friend over a cup of tea and complaining about how nothing ever works out for me and I always end up feeling disappointed. And in the middle of my little rant, this almost always indulging individual just asked me to stop.The proverbial reality slap occurred. I was reminded how blessed I am, how hopeful I am for all the people in my life. How generous I am with my time and energy and that I have the best intentions for even strangers. So while I sound like a Hallmark card, it also means I am bound to get disappointed and hurt. This friend just shrugged and said, “Your hurt, your misfortunes, your regrets are what make you, and who you are in the now and the future. Besides, you realise you are really living.” This was just what I needed to hear. And it has changed the way I look at things and it has worked for me. No, I did not turn into a millionaire overnight or move to an Italian island with my lover or win the Pulitzer. But, I have more perspective.
So the fear is not about what people will make you feel if you let them, of course. The fear is that in the absence of them in your life, you will find a void. An emptiness that can choke you. The truth is I felt like this for a long time. If you live in the fear of losing people or experiences, the fear will direct you to eventually do just that.
The shortest distance between you and your dream is the first step in the direction. So take that step. Go from the departure to the arrivals hall. Be scared, know it is human to feel that. But also wholeheartedly give life a shot. You have to be all in, or nothing at all.
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She kept repeating to herself his last words, “Don’t change”. She felt a smile creep up on her face through those tears. She walked out of the departure gates of the airport and realised she couldn't find the keys to her car and when she looked back she saw him stand there waiting for her with the key in his hand. Right then, the departure announcement shouted out the final boarding calls and they stood their protecting very selfishly what they wanted to say to each other and the silence allowed for the moment to pass, for the flight to depart, and for her to walk out alone, smiling, safe in the knowledge that she was going to be okay. With him, without him.
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